The Beer Day event at Marilyn was top-notch. I’m a beer lover, and Marilyn is already my favorite
spot. A few new pole dancers were added to entertain the crowd, and this Thursday night felt like it
was tailor-made for me.

These days, there are tons of beer festivals around here, but it wasn’t always like that. It was back in
the early '90s when four of us buddies decided to hit up Oktoberfest. We were mostly driven by
excitement and had little knowledge of German beers, but we pictured beautiful blonde girls in
traditional Bavarian outfits with braids, serving us the best draft beers. Of course, we also had other
fantasies, thanks to those popular German adult films we’d seen on VHS, with a terrible Hungarian
dubbing.

Initially, we planned to go with a travel agency’s bus trip to our dream festival. But after a quick (and
very careless) bit of math, we figured we could save a lot by driving there ourselves. We thought we’d
easily find a place to stay once we got there. We weren’t interested in sightseeing, which the bus trip
included, and we liked the idea of going at our own pace, stopping whenever we wanted, without
having to deal with forty other people. Plus, we didn’t want a boring tour guide. This was all about
beer, and even though only Geri spoke a bit of German, we figured getting by at a festival wouldn’t be
rocket science.

The drive was way longer than we expected, and the last 2-3 hours were pure torture. Despite leaving
at dawn, we didn’t get to Munich until late at night.

We had this movie-like idea in our heads that we’d find “zimmer frei” signs everywhere, just like at
Lake Balaton. Of course, if we’d chosen the bus trip with the boring tour guide, we’d have known that
during Oktoberfest, every place in Munich is booked a year in advance.

By the time we got to the festival, it was winding down. A few stragglers were still around, and some
awful brass band music was playing. It was clear they were about to pack it up, but we were
determined to have a beer after all that travel. We figured we’d sleep in the car and find a place to stay
in the morning. There were Bavarian girls in traditional outfits, but they didn’t have the enthusiasm we
expected, and they weren’t all that attractive either. Except for one, whom Geri immediately started
chatting up. We laughed at him from a distance, imagining the conversation with his broken German,
and commented on it with lines from those ’80s German adult films. We got pretty drunk on those
litre-sized beer mugs pretty quickly. If we’d chosen the bus trip with the boring guide, we’d have
known that they brew much stronger beers for this event.

Photo: Manual Joseph

Geri reappeared about an hour later, grinning from ear to ear.
“Did you hook up with her, or what’s up?” we asked.
“Even better, guys—we’ve got a place to stay!” he said, waving a piece of paper.

Turns out, the girl he was chatting with was half-Hungarian (which is probably why she was the
prettiest of the bunch), and she had an aunt, Gertrud, who had a room for rent in her suburban house.
We were all dead tired by then, so we headed out to the address she gave us. We rang the bell for ages
before Gertrud finally came out. She was a big, ugly old lady in a bathrobe, with hair curlers in and a
mustache that would put Magnum to shame. She yelled something in German, none of which we
understood, but we could tell she didn’t like us. Geri handed her the note from her niece, she grumbled
something under her breath, turned around, and waved us in: "Schnell!" We tried not to laugh because
we knew that word from those German films, just in a totally different context.

The room was tiny but clean, and we were exhausted, so we were happy enough. The old lady wrote a
number on the back of the paper that had us in shock, but we had no choice but to pay her.

Our five-day trip ended up being cut down to two, thanks to Gertrud’s outrageously expensive room,
but the adventure is something we’ll never forget—we still talk about it today.
Just the other day, in fact, at Marilyn on Beer Day, where the girls are a hundred times hotter than at
Oktoberfest ever. But if you do decide to hit up Europe’s biggest beer fest, make sure to book a place
well in advance—or bring Geri with you!

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